As expected, the downward spiral. I tried to fight it but I couldn't battle alone. I am not willing to surrender to myself yet so to the doctors I go. I hope they can save me from instrumenting my own undoing.
The sleeping pills were a good bandaid for a while but with out them I realise that I still have a lot of healing to do. Time to face up and get better without the chemical helpers. I want to be alright on my own. I don't want to be on the Anti-depressants. They make me who I am not. And withdrawals are a bitch. So no matter what the doctors say, I will not go back on them.
I think I am ready. I want to be better. I don't want to run away any more.
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